I want you for Feedback, Feedback, Feedback...

The trouble here is inconsistency. Ever been asked "Would you like some Feedback?"...and felt a sense of trepidation; a sense of being uncomfortable because criticism was just round the corner?

It need not be like that and you, as boss, leader, manager, supervisor, whatever, can make it different.

"There is no failure; there is only feedback" Richard Bandler

It depends on how you see it. Some people see that something which has gone wrong is irrevocably down to them and see themselves as failures.

Others look for what they can do differently next time to create value in the experience. Yes, you can help.

Building confidence in a safe environment is the very best gift you can give to your people. Bottom line.

This one act will be the most valuable thing you do for them, for your business or organisation and indeed yourself. That is why great feedback is so important.

Top 10 Things About Feedback

Feedback is a fabulous tool, which when used well, can significantly leverage the abilities, both already demonstrated and latent, in your people. This is a skill that can be developed and become such a positive asset to have in your toolkit.

The best at Feedback...

1 - Consistently Give It

They make sure that giving and receiving Feedback is regular and consistent throughout their team. This creates an expectation that it will happen - and it does.

2 - Accept It

They model it themselves and ask for it as well. So, by accepting Feedback themselves they lead by example. This encourages others to become involved.

3 - See it as a Gift

Rather than a chore or 'difficult', they see feeding back as a positive act, benefiting the recipient, the business and themselves.

4 - Never Criticise

Feeding back takes a shape as follows:

- What was good about what happened?

- What might you want to do differently next time?

Both asked of the recipient first. Then the giver offers his or her view on the same two questions. In that order it gives time for the recipient to recognise the performance themselves, which is much stronger than just 'being told'.

5 - Look to the Future

By regarding the differences for the 'next time' people great at feeding back line up their people with a new opportunity, building confidence and registering the changes in the moment.

6 - Use Constructive Words

Rarely will those skilled at giving Feedback use negatives in their language. They find ways of saying things which concentrate on positives, yet get the message across.

7 - Deliver Promptly

The best time is in the moment, at the time or as close to is as possible. The best at Feedback never leave it any longer than necessary.

8 - Question

They ask questions with ease - there is no falseness, nor discomfort. Indeed the use of this questioning skill binds the relationships they are so good at making.

9 - Enable Others

Because there is a such a strong and supportive culture, the process begins an upward spiral of performance in the team. Indeed, in full swing, self-feedback becomes the norm!

10 - Provide Support

Once they have a process for feeding back naturally established, there is a new way forward. They are able to create interlinked supportive structures for all of their team members - including themselves.

10 Ways to be Better at Feedback

1 - Tell Them

It can be a bit daunting when the boss starts feeding back all of a sudden. So work on it together. Announce it as an activity that will evolve and become 'the way we do things around here'.

2 - Practice

As you work on this together, you will need to create opportunities to practice safely. so set up things - say, like Feedback on meeting behaviours, as an example. Make time for it as a priority.

3 - Start Small

To show how it's done, make sure the rules of the game are explained - keep it a safe place and work up from simple, fun things to more contentious issues.

4 - Be a Model

You may wish to be the guinea-pig to start the ball rolling. Grit your teeth. Have the courage - be the lead in this. That is your role and help them follow you. Your response has to be very accepting and not apologising, blaming or making excuses. This is really, really vital.

5 - Use the Model

By working with the:

- What was good about what happened?

- What might you want to do differently next time?

...model, both asked of the recipient first, you keep it safe. Keep the questions in order.

6 - Be Regular

Create a process in your business which you do at every opportunity - even for little, frivolous things. But do it. Have some fun with it.

7 - Urgency

When using Feedback, make sure the timescale fits just right. Unless circumstances become very open, which takes time,keep it private, but keep it snappy. Late, is way too late and indeed can be worse than not at all. "Remember three weeks last Friday, I want to give you some feedback..." - ain't going to work.

8 - Help with Resources

When issues are raised during Feedback that need extra help - ensure it is available when the recipient wants it. Progress isn't possible without a smooth path forwards.

9 - Watch Out

Sometimes it becomes apparent that there is a deeper issue. Now really is the time to be sensitive and listen. Often 'being heard' is all that is needed - so be there for them.

10 - Say Thank You

Treat the giver as a supportive, honest and brave developer of your performance and career. It can be scary, giving Feedback (especially upwards). So be encouraging! Thank them!

5 Simple Actions You Can Take Today!

- Set up the start of a process in your team. make the time for the communication and, where it is useful, private, one-to-one sessions at first.

- Offer it today, with an explanation, so that you don't appear to pick on people out of the blue - remember, up to now, such feeding back has been experienced as a criticism!

- Work out with our team how you can set up regular practice - discuss the value and the pitfalls you will face.

- Lead from the front - ask for Feedback yourself - in the right format.

- Share your experiences with your peers; other colleagues; friends; watch for the significant progress this will bring.

Read some great books like:

- "Constructive Feedback (Management Shapers)" - Frances Bee, Roland Bee

- "Fast Feedback" - Bruce Tulgan

- "Fierce Conversations" - Susan Scott (advanced)

Martin Haworth

Show Your Boss the Way!

Building relationships is vital in business. When you are employed and have a boss it's even more critical, because you have an incentive to get the best from your boss - and the onus is on you.

For bosses, try on this as a set of expectations your people have from you.

You are limited in how much control you can have in the employed world. Much is passed down to you and this can feel frustrating because you feel 'done to'; without any input in how your experience, day-by-day, goes for you.

It can drive you crazy (and in fact is one of the biggest causes of absence and employee churn, by the way!)

So, it's time to take some control - here are a few ways that work well.

Make the Effort to Communicate

By having an easy dialogue with your boss, you will make it easier all round, when tough talking needs to happen.

In fact, if you have the relationship, none of the discussions need be tough at all. Light requests come when you've made the effort up front to get on well. This means appreciating every opportunity to talk - and about anything with your boss.

Appreciate Them

It's a lonely world at the top. Sure, the tangible compensations look great! And that’s not all we need as human beings. Social animals that we are, we need to feel loved a little.

So it’s time for YOU to take the lead in sharing the positives you've gotten from your boss; how they have helped you in your work, makes THEM feel good. And when it's you making them feel good, they will appreciate you - which strengthens the relationship more.

Share Successes

Whilst we believe that praise is always best accepted (none of this, oh, 'it's nothing' - just go with it!), remember that a good boss will facilitate success and achievement, yet often step back from the glory (hmmm, well, some will!).

If you are able to acknowledge their involvement and support, they will be able to be a stronger part of the team, want to do more for the greater good and learn to give praise back!

Encourage Team Building

Being a good team player, helps a boss with a critical part of their role. Good bosses are only good because of the quality of the team they develop.

Your working with and in the team, facilitating development and growth, makes it work for the benefit of the business or organisation - and that is a big plus for your boss.

Becoming a Solution Providing, Problem-Free Zone

Your boss will be besieged with problems. Time to take a different tack! By having ideas of how to solve problems and sharing those with them, rather than being a constant whiner, will buck the trend, as well as showing an example to others.

You enable an evolving 'problem-free' zone in the team, your ideas are an advert for what you can contribute above and beyond the norm - you will be 'noticed' positively.

Ask for Their Advice

When you need some suggestions about how to move forward, you can still ask for help. 'I need your help' is a great way to get it! An emotional plea that buys them into YOU.

It makes a difference to feel wanted. And your boss, just like you, needs to have that sense of being valued. So be prepared to bite the bullet and ask, constructively and positively and then follow through with action.

Listen When They Need You

Sometimes your boss will get it wrong - and be horrified. At times like this, it works well to treat them as who they might not always appear to be - a regular human being.

Helping them through difficulties forms a great bond. No need to be grovelling about it, just positively supportive and on their side. Maybe no-one else will (though you might be the model others follow).

Say No Sometimes - Sort Of!

Time will come where your boss tests you out, wanting ‘rush-jobs’ done. Now this is usually down to poor 'boundary' setting, which is another article in itself. So you need to say ‘no’ when you can't. Even better is to say 'yes' and on your terms.

A piece of work impinging on what's important to you, needs negotiation around the ‘when’. This is better solution as it helps develop understanding of what needs to happen for the crisis issue to take priority - and sets a marker for how you will handle such matters in future. And starts their ‘training’! You can start this right away.

Be Demanding About You (a bit!)

Employees need to know how they are doing. It’s a bit of a challenging world out there and if no-one tells you how you are doing you need to find out. Sometimes a boss is really good at this.

Usually they aren’t. Their head is full of all sorts of tactical stuff they need to do - and they forget about their people. Often this is because no-one has ever modelled what good looks like and the real priorities in business. People.

So by asking how they think you are doing - what they appreciate about you and what you might do differently, they will come along and get better at it with everyone!

Have Patience

Behavioural change doesn’t happen all at once and it can go wrong! If you take your time - keep subtle and keep appreciative of them, without the coffee-machine slagging off they usually get, you will make gradual and steady progress.

Managers need this - trust me - some of us have been on the receiving end, very gently, and it does work.

When you are playing with the fire of managing upwards, it a bit like a male scorpion trying to mate, with a big chance he’ll get eaten. Yet it is so vital.

Be the one!

Martin Haworth

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